Russia Pulls Troops Out of Georgia, Chechnya, to Bolster Black Rise Fleet Strength

After last night's devastating loss to the pathetic, carebear pilots of Genetisystems' Elite Tactical Airwing, Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev of the Russian Federation has announced he will withdrawal troops from both Georgia and Chechnya to reinforce his beleaguered digital space navy forces in the Black Rise Region.

"I thought the days of the Cold War were long past us," said Medvedev. "Days of uncertainty, deceit, and terror are being brought back by this rogue element of the western regime."

"I am saddened by this turn of events," said Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of the Russian Federation. "I sought a different future that apparently eludes us all."

Russia has re-allocated two armored divisions and three squadrons of air superiority forces to reinforce their Russian privateers working in Black Rise. The troops are expected to arrive before year's end.

In a solemn press conference, one pilot of the routinely harried pirate organization took the podium with a simple, but eye-opening statement.

When asked to comment on her corporations anti-piracy policy, Allya Modrane was reluctant to comment. Fortunately for The Daily Poddite, Genetisystems' Director Stetin was happy to oblige.

"Oh we killed them good," said Stetin. "I don't even turn the guns on anymore. It's just getting easy and we need a challenge."

"Hell, my Orca is on the kill mail," he added.

Concord agents were pleased with the destruction of the pirate fleet and gladly awarded bounties to the Genetisystems pilots.

"We're just glad they are doing the job we cannot," said Helmut Wunderschpoon, Concord Press Secretary. "Kehjari, Martoh, Kinakka -- long have these star systems been out of control and rampant with piracy."

"It seems a new age has dawned?"

Genetisystems Recruiting Dedicated Meat Shields to Repel Sansha Nation

With the onset of the Sansha Nation's publicly announced invasions of known space in New Eden, Genetisystems leadership has decided to prepare for open hostilities and begin recruiting dedicated meat shields.

"A lot of us are flying really good ships now," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "It'd be a shame to lose them to pirates when we could hire others to do this for us."

"Our benefits plan is comprehensive," explained Sturm Wellington, Director. "We offer no ship replacement, no encouragement, and no share of the loot."

"What you do receive is the right to fly with us and shield good pilots like Train Tracks, Stetin, and XivOps from certain and ugly doom."

"Some would call it a stepping stone into the hallowed ranks of Genetisystems," said Cheif Astartes, renowned combat pilot and former pirate. "Not me, but some."

Pilots interested in a Meat Shield position should be able to supply and fly a battlecruiser with an excellent tank, preferably two for when their primary ship is destroyed. Interested parties should inquire with Ranger McFriendly, who, by his very name sake, is nice.

Genetisystems Celebrates First Month in Space by Destroying 1 Billion ISK in Pirate Tonnage

After a month of conducting commercial and combat operations in low security space, Genetisystems has destroyed well over 1 Billion ISK in pirate tonnage.

The push over the billion mark was sped up with the arrival of a Tengu and Vagabond pilot in the home system last night. After what resulted in a stunning, all hands on deck fleet battle, the Tengu and Vagabond lay destroyed and salvaged with only one Genetisystems' Hurricane loss.

"I had a long call with our corporate accountant last night," said Stetin. "I was having trouble conversing with him clearly as he was flying a Mastodon. You know Minmatar tech. But it was clear to both of us that we had cleared the billion mark."

"Carnage!" added XivOps, a Genetisystems Director.

The first anti-Pirate victory was against a Megathron, which fell to an ambush totaling 7 Genetisystems pilots and 1 ally. A short while later the company was able to destroy a Pilgrim force recon ship and a Drake.

"Only a month ago we were crapping our pants about a lone Ishtar mercenary and freaking out about friendly fire," said Sturm Wellington, a former Director who was disgraced after an intergalactic incident with Yellow Star Corps. "I literally pooped a little when that Ishtar charged us."

"I'm not proud," he added.

"We've proven quite a few times now that arrogant pirates will die when they enter our turf," said PsyKrow, the fleet commander for the majority of the anti-pirate battles. "At this point, I'm more concerned with wife aggro than pirates."

Action against the local pirates in system, long a menace to inhabitants, has brought out courage in even the most unlikely of pilots. Train Tracks, mop boy, has been in every pirate battle and has survived all of them to emerge as one of the true heroes of the Genetisystems fleet.

"They kept saying to me, 'go away mop boy,' or 'my ship's dirty mop boy!" he explained. "Well, I don't expect to hear none of this 'mop boy' crap come Monday."

From the top down, Genetisystems is energized and excited.

"I think it's all due to my iron fisted rule," said Allya Modrane, CEO and Dictator of Genetisystems. "I've slapped a few pilots around and made a few calls that nobody wanted me to make."

"But I got it done, didn't I? I mean we?" she added.

Genetisystems has recently added four pilots to help aid in the fight against piracy and profit from low security space. With the value of Genetisystems stock at an all time high, it is the best move possible for all.

Genetisystems Plans First War Game

On , crack members of Genetisystem's Tactical Airwing will be dividing into Aggressor and Defender Squadrons to engage in the first Genetisystems' War Game. 

The first war game, located in , will allow both teams to learn more about the always terrifying and complicated Gate Camp Scenario. 

"It is my sincere hope that Aggressor Squadron will prevail," said Sturm Wellington, the Aggressor Fleet Commander. "I plan to get crafty, wily, and devious."

"Like a space coyote," he added.

It will be the task of Wellington and his Aggressor Squadron to jump blindly through the gate and engage the waiting Defender Squadron, though exact details of Aggressor Squadron's objectives remain classified.

"Aggressor is filled with tossers," said Cheif Astartes, Defender Squadron Fleet Commander. "Plus, we've got a pilot very close to one of their own."

"I always say, if you aren't cheating you aren't trying. And it's only cheating if you get caught," added Astartes. 

It is rumored that Allya Modrane and Stetin, members of the opposing squadrons, know each other outside of the pod realm. If this is truly the case, both commanders will need to keep close tabs on their security.

"These war games are a tiny part of Genetisystems' broad vision for our part in low security space and beyond," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "By learning to better conduct ourselves in war, we will better serve the needs of our commercial interests and maintain the security of space between our home and the safety of empire."

Future war games are already in the works, including ones that test cloaked ambushes, protecting miners, ferrying goods, and grand multi-system battles. Genetisystems allies are encouraged to participate and can do so by contacting the War Games Marshall Sturm Wellington. 

Study Reveals Schizophrenia a Problem in Low Sector Space

After a month in Low Security space, the staff psychologists employed by Genetisystems Elite Psychiatric wing have observed that schizophrenia is highly common in low security space.

"We have a yellow star," reads the corporate biography of the Yellow Star Corporation. "All members need to be me or an alt of me. Please apply to me if you're me and want to join."

"I swear you cannot go 2 AU without tripping over someone who thinks they are someone else...at the same time," explains Sturm Wellington, part-time psychologist. "People are crazy out here, but it is lonely."

"I wish I had an imaginary friend myself," he added.

Concord has long been accused of looking the other way when it comes to rampant schizophrenia, multiple personalities, and what's commonly referred to as "alt syndrome" out in the belts.

"I must admit to...suffering from slight 'alt syndrome' myself," said Stetin, Director of Genetisystems. "I checked in at my local station's medical bay. Not only did they say it was okay, but they encouraged me to get an alt."

"Some days I think Concord just doesn't care about enforcing the law."

It is yet to be seen whether 'alt syndrome' will have a negative impact on New Eden or its inhabitants.

Yellow Star Corporation Rebuttal to Genetisystems Legal Jargon

To the leadership of the esteemed Genetisystem corporation,

As CEO, leader, and High King of Yellow Star "Corporation" I must vehemently object to the allegations regarding our trusted member Ishannar made in the "newspaper" written by your member Sturm Wellington. After careful investigation we have determined the corpse is not dressed like a mariachi singer, but in an outfit one of our members obtained from the private quarters of a local pilot named Stetin, whom Ishannar admires very much. The corpse is therefor made to resemble him closely and is allowed to attend special tea parties and philosophical lectures organised for it. Ishannar has requested I make the following statement in his name:

Mr. Wellington seems a person of a modest, decent and unassuming disposition, but I must point your attention to his drooping eyelids and sagging chin, which indicate an untrustworthy karakter. I urge you to ignore his well-meant but misinformed ramblings and agree that we must be friendly to the less fortunate in this world. It is only the noble thing to do. Therefor I suggest he be provided with work suitable to his abilities, perhaps flying a garbage skow or light duties as a janitor.

I assume you will take this complaint seriously and will surely take swift action against this brigand.

Thanks in advance,
Klyo Tarren.
King of all that is and will be,
CEO of Yellow Star Corp

Genetisystems Ally Keeps Corpse, Sanity in Station

Days after the outlaw Bacujlek was destroyed for piracy in the Genetisystems home system, his corpse remains in a small, privately owned cargo hold.

"This one sure is ripe," said Ishannar, self-avowed corpse collector. "Sometimes you need something this ripe to remind the senses of what's what out here in the vacuum of space."

"You get me?" he asked.

Bacujlek's naked body

Ishannar is a member of a corporation that has recently signed a legally binding non-compete clause with Genetisystems. Despite the legal penalties of discarding such a deal, Genetisystems is considering prematurely revoking the clause due to Ishannar's strange corpse fetish.

"I don't do business with yay-hoos who keep dead bodies lying around for one thing," said Sturm Wellington, Director and Spokesperson for Genetisystems.

"He's in there dressing that thing up like a mariachi singer I shit you not!" explained Wellington. "We wanted to do business but this dude's losing it."

"Yes, I'm eccentrik!" said Ishannar excitedly. "Please spell 'eccentrik' with a k for your story," he added. "I no longer feel the need to restrict myself to the letter c."

Legal representatives from both corporations have been working to calm the situation and keep things "business as usual." It remains to be seen whether the corpse, or this fledgling business partnership, will rot first.

Lazy Pirate Slaughtered by Genetisystems Security Forces

The ongoing three-week old border conflict between the annoying to type H.O.U.S.E. corporation and stalwart Genetisystems corporation flared up again last night when a small squadron of Genetisystems pilots hunted and destroyed a prominent member of H.O.U.S.E.

"I think he floated out of station by accident," explained Train Tracks, member of the successful squadron. "Then we beat the shit out of him."

The pirate's Pilgrim was valued at well over 100 Million ISK.

"I'm not sure he was even in the right window when he undocked" said Allya Modrane, CEO. Modrane is referring to the pod pilot interface that allows for others to view important sites like PodCloneBook and "games" like AsteroidVille.

As the night continued H.O.U.S.E. lost an additional Drake Battlecruiser to the noble Genetisystems forces.

The total losses of the *sigh* H.O.U.S.E. corporation have totaled almost 400 Million ISK to date, with an unknown number of losses associated with potential pilot implants. Though Genetisystems is not without casualties, the balance is clearly in the scrappy corporations favor.

Convoy Escort Distracted by "Classic" Car, loses Convoy

A Genetisystems convoy was ambushed and destroyed Wednesday night when a Genetisystems scout pilot was distracted by what he referred to as a "classic ride."

While waiting at the Onnamon gate in Empire space, a Drake and Badger pilot were instructed by the scout to enter low security Kinakka as the way was "clear." Unfortunately, the scout was too distracted to realize he wasn't in Kinakka.

The destroyed Badger Mark II

"I was finishing my patrol when this sweet ride flew across my bow," said Stetin, scout pilot and jalopy enthusiast. "I swear that thing was like, uh, a space El Camino or somethin'."

"It may not have been your high falutin' "tech 2" nonsense but she was sure tech 2 in my book," said Stetin.

"Boy howdy I'll tell ya what!"

Seconds after entering Kinakka while Stetin was ogling the "space El Camino," both the Drake and Badger were immediately destroyed by well-armed and entrenched pirates that would have normally been spotted by a scout.

The scout's rough approximation of the "space El Camino"

"Yeah, my bad," said Stetin when asked about the botched scouting. "Badgers are a dime a dozen. Same with Drakes. But that El Camino...man, now that was a car!"

Stetin's security contract is currently under review by the Genetisystems Board of Directors.

Genetisystems Builds Space Station in Simulators

Director Stetin of the Genetisystems Engineering and Industrial Sector successfully completed the simulator run of establishing a space station tonight.

"Everything went smoothly, much more so than expected," noted Stetin.

With the simulation behind the corporation, final plans are being set to create an expeditionary fleet and establish a space station presence in New Eden.

"The next step won't be a simulation," said Stetin. "Pilots will die. Pilots like Sturm. But, our shareholders are willing to accept such "trivial" losses at this time."

All photos taken by Stetin.

Genetisystems on the Move

The Daily Poddite had a pilot embedded with the 1st Genetisystems Expeditionary Fleet currently operating out of an undisclosed low security system. The Genetisystems Board of Directors has unanimously approved a measure to expand operations into low security space with a space station.

A Buzzard flies reconnaissance for a loaded Mastodon transport

Genetisystems fleet in cloak. 

Uncloaked and moving through space.

All photos taken by Stetin.

Sometimes it's the journey...

Haajinen War Chronicles: Complete Series

I thought it'd be best to create a post that contains all four entries in one spot.

Part 1: The Quiet Retreat
Part 2: Collateral Damage
Part 3: Spy Games
Part 4: The Deep Strike

Overall the war was fairly interesting. We learned a lot about EVE and how to fly. Ultimately, though, the war wasn't on our terms and therefore conflicted with how we like to play. But, that's EVE sometimes. I had other parts of this story envisioned, but ultimately I became busy with work and we largely hung out in station waiting for the war to end.

Enjoy the fiction! Comments welcome, as always.

Haajinen War Chronicles: The Deep Strike

This is the final entry in the series. Part 1 can be read here. Part 2 can be read here. Part 3 can be read here. 

The mercenary operates alone. He flies incredibly expensive ships and engages in warfare constantly. Such activities are incredibly costly – wars always are – and we realized that the ISK to fund such a style of operation had to come from a source other than the wars.

Haajinen War Chronicles: Spy Games

This is Part 3 of a series. Part 1 is here, with Part 2 here. 


Throughout the day our fleet and the mercenary played cat and mouse games. No more engagements took place because neither side ever had the advantage they sought. We did, however, begin to notice some peculiar behavior that added yet another twist to the conflict.

Haajinen War Chronicles: Collateral Damage

This is Part 2 of a series. Part 1 can be read here. 

Using locator agents we were able to pin down our assailant in the system of Uemisaisen. Resolved to not fall prey to his strategy we formed a fleet and presented ourselves in full force. The Genetisystems fleet knew it could not stand up to the mercenary’s skills and firepower individually or even in small squadrons. We also knew we didn’t want to be remotely subtle about our intentions to defend ourselves.

Haajinen War Chronicles: The Quiet Retreat

New Eden is a galaxy filled with opportunity typically reserved for those who seek it. It’s a portion of space that will often leave you alone if you remain hidden, but eventually conflict will find you. And so it was for Genetisystems on the morning of September 11 when a declaration of war was sent to every member’s personal mailbox.

Opinion: In New Eden, Tariffs are Good for Commerce

It's a relatively undisputed economic notion that tariffs are often a barrier to trade. Increased fees and taxes discourage the flow of goods and services and therefore weakens entire economies. The Daily Poddite proposes, however, that tariffs should not only exist in New Eden, but they should exist to encourage economic churn.

Opinion: Concord Should be Staffed by Players

The editorial staff of the Daily Poddite had a thought this morning -- what if the pilots of Concord were staffed not by non-player entities, but entirely, or at least partially by players?

Wormhole Guide Part 2: Wormholes!

Hopefully you've read and memorized Part 1 of this guide? The editorial staff of The Daily Poddite expects you to not waste its time. Now that you're able to find a wormhole, it's time to enter, explore, and exploit the wormholes and their contents!

Wormhole Guide Part 1: Scanning

The Daily Poddite often sends its correspondents to the far reaches of space and time. To  better equip our intrepid journalists we wanted to make an in depth guide (with pictures!) about the rigors of wormhole venturing. This first part covers the essentials of finding a wormhole.

Space Bears Steal, then lose, Veritable "Honey Pot" of Omber

Two opportunistic pilots stumbled across a relatively undefended cache of Omber Friday night in a system that starts with the letter A. After a brief period of internal moral questioning, the pilots made off with the Omber.

A short period later, they lost it.

"I jettisoned a few missiles to create a cargo container," said Sturm Wellington. "Then, I just removed 38,000 units of Omber from the Osprey pilot's container and moved it to my own container."

"Easy peezy!" exclaimed Wellington, self-avowed galactic moron.

To evade any retribution from the victim, Sturm Wellington and his compatriot Ranger McFriendly quickly fled out of system in their vastly more powerful Cruiser and Battlecruiser.

"Boy, we sure got that sucker!" said Ranger McFriendly, escort and idiot accomplice. "Welcome to EVE!" he added.

After depositing a token amount of the Omber from his Caracal's hold into a nearby Funtanainen station, Wellington observed a key and unfortunate fact -- the cargo container containing the stolen Omber had not been bookmarked.

"I was like, 'hey Ranger, you bookmark the Omber?" explained Wellington. "And we was like, 'nuh uh, how 'bout you?"

"We both felt pretty stupid," said McFriendly.

Sturm Wellington managed to re-scan the cosmic anomaly and then find the cargo container once again. However, the time spent doing so greatly devalued the stolen Omber and the quality of the heist.

"My cloned heart just wasn't into it," said Wellington. "I just felt stupid and wanted to return to Oimmo to sulk."

No complaints were filed with the local Concord authorities regarding the heist.

Frigate Tournament Concludes Amidst Cries of Foul Play

Nine frigate hulls and one pilot's good name lay derelict and burning in the Funtanainen System as a direct result of yesterday's Fourth Intergalactic Genetisystems and Guests Frigate Tournament for Pilots who Like to Pew.

"You won," said XivOps, convenient non-participant, to Stetin. "Kind of convenient, don't you think?"

"I thought you'd be happy for me," said Stetin, victor and accused cheater. "Now my feelings are hurt."

Stetin has remained undefeated for four tournaments now, leading many to question the validity of his title. Many felt his voracious onslaught was merely a prelude to his eventual victory.

"I felt like a Gurista Pirate just waiting for his bounty to be plucked," said Griff Tarken, a man renowned for quickly escaping his burning Merlins.

"I'm not even sure why Stetin bothered to transfer the Worm prize frigate all the way to Funtanainen," said Sturm Wellington, sore loser. "He kept boasting about all the goodies inside. Probably because he knew they'd be his goodies."

The Worm prize frigate now flown by Stetin.

The Worm, valued at 69 Million ISK, is reportedly both a collector's item and combat ship worthy of petty jealousy and envious emotions.

There have been discussions amongst the Board of Directors to modify the rules of the tournament, or outright cheat, in order to see a new, more legitimate champion emerge.

"I'm not averse to sabotage for future tournaments," said CEO Allya Modrane. "If it costs me a little ISK to see him explode "illegally," then fine."

"I'm just sick of his strutting," she added. Many have noted how nice it is that Incarna isn't available yet for just this reason.

Stetin has gone to the Intergalactic Board of Frigate Tournaments to plead his case and clear his name. Though his initial plea has been filed, it will be at least a year before opening arguments can be heard.

"In New Eden the defendant is guilty until proven innocent, so for the next year at least, Stetin is a cheater," said Sturm Wellington, self-proclaimed "space judicator."

"Regardless of the result of the case, we already intend to appeal," said Allya Modrane. "We may not be able to shoot him down in space, but we'll have our day in court."

Genetisystems will follow the case of Losers v. Stetin as it unfolds.

Redneck Spacers Engage in "Wussy" Piracy

Late Thursday evening, long after the frogs started chripin', four members of the less-than-elite Salvage 'n Thiefen' Wing of Genetisystems stole 12 Million ISK in goods.

"We shore got those suckers good," said Sturm Wellington, Junker First Class. "I pulled up mah Thrasher, which is like the RV of the skies, and stole plenty!"

Salvage 'n Thiefen pilots desperately salvage before the law arrives.

"Weeeee doggies!" shouted Stetin.

The four members of the Salvage 'n Thiefen' Wing have been training for months to pull off a coordinated salvage heist against local militia groups.

"Allya here learnt how to find these folks with her....hold on one sec," said Stetin. "Honey, what do you call that damn space lookey thinger?"

"I call it 'space noodlin'" explained Griff Tarken. "Plus, the salvage sure pays the bills better than a durn catfish I'll tell you what."

"Good eatin' though."

The local population in Motsu was less enthusiastic about the salvage heist conducted by the four members of Genetisystems.

"These lazy hicks think they are so superior for stealing what is rightfully ours," complained one victim. "They are probably all dickless."

"Yeah, look at what that big city educating got them now, huh?" said Wellington. "Go write your congressman, you nancies."

Concord was contacted for comment, but had nothing to say on the subject.

Wormhole Raid Leaves Lone Survivor to Enjoy Loot

After a successful raid into ancient sleeper territory in a wormhole out of Arvasaras, disaster struck a small squadron of Genetisystem's elite Exploration Airwing.

"It was a bloodbath," said Sturm Wellington, scout and lone survivor. "If it weren't for all this money I no longer need to share with anyone else, I would have no way to wipe away these tears."

The operation, which began as a calculated foray into sleeper territory for ancient technology, met disaster early.

"Aliso Keppo's Manticore was shredded within seconds of insertion," explained Wellington. "Frankly, I'm surprised the rest of the fleet survived the fumes put out by Stetin's hulk."

After a tense, sustained firefight, the remnants of the squadron prepared to exit wormhole space to return to high security, when the exit Wormhole collapsed.

"Stetin seems to have this perverse...urge...to collapse every wormhole he sees," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "He's like an Arvasaran bull in a Jitan China closet."

"What's China?" asked Stetin.

Unscathed due to the skilled application of a cloaking device, Sturm Wellington discovered another exit wormhole and led the squadron deep into low security Amarr space. Isolated through six jumps, the squadron seemed destined for safety in high security space.

"Two jumps from high sec, we hit a gate camp," said Ranger McFriendly. "Allya was grabbed pretty quickly while Stetin and I tried to fight."

"Sturm scattered like a cockroach."

"Sure I ran," said Sturm Wellington. "But if I hadn't, and by that I mean we, wouldn't have earned all this ISK."

Allya Modrane's Drake was quickly destroyed by the pirates at the gate. Stetin's Maelstrom and Ranger McFriendly's Drake were destroyed in the following system. 

"It could have been worse," said Sturm Wellington. "I could have been destroyed too."

All photos taken by Stetin.

Pilot Gets Shot Down, Blames Girlfriend

An aloof pod pilot was shot down Tuesday night while dealing with his girlfriend.

Sturm Wellington and other elements of Genetisystems' elite Tactical Airwing were patrolling low sector space in Black Rise when fleet discipline fell apart, resulting in casualties.

"I ordered the fleet to hold on the gate," said Malek Treiss, fleet commander. "Everyone called in affirmative, except Sturm Wellington."

"He just disappeared," said Treiss.

The members of the fleet tried to communicate with Wellington via all possible methods, including shouting into the comm system, sending mail messages, and even ramming his Griffin.

Then, the inexplicable happened.

"Sturm came back onto the comms and shouted 'Sorry, back guys!'" explained Stetin. "Then he just jumped through the gate."

"It was one of the dumbest things I've seen in space," said Stetin.

"I immediately ordered Sturm back," said Treiss. "Unfortunately, there were pirates waiting for him on the other side and his Tech 1 Frigate exploded like a soft candy."

After the short, but hectic chase by the pirates, Wellington and the fleet were able to gather in station and debrief on the incident.

"My girlfriend called me while we were on patrol," explained Wellington. "I tried to get her off to phone by repeatedly shouting "I'm in a combat zone!"

"She just wouldn't listen though," he said. "They never do."

When Sturm Wellington was able to finally return to his Griffin's HUD, he found himself alone at the gate and assumed the fleet had jumped to the next system designated for the patrol. Unfortunately, the fleet was still in system, though now under cloak.

"I really wanted to try out my new cloaking device," explained Ty Langstrom, fleet member.

"We'll need to work with Sturm on his fleet discipline," said Malek Treiss. "Girlfriend or no, that sort of reckless flying will get us all podded."

Wellington's girlfriend was not available for comment.

Border Drug Bust Reinvigorates Drug Debate

When Sturm Wellington warped towards the Haajinen jump gate Sunday night, he didn't intend to do so as a drug smuggler.

"My ship's alarm started going off and a Caldari Border Patrol agent with a thick German accent began threatening me with death," explained Wellington. "Though it took me a while to figure out what he was saying."

"I thought he was saying 'daaaath,' which just doesn't mean anything."

Under Caldari law, possession of any illegal drugs of any amount is punishable by a reasonable fine and Governmental cold shoulder, or immediate death. To avoid immediate death, Wellington handed over his cargo, paid an immediate fine of 186,000 ISK, and suffered a nebulous relationship penalty with the local enforcement agency.

"I'm not a drug user, per se," said Wellington. "But I feel my rights were violated by this unwarranted scan of my cargo, not to mention the unreasonable punishment."

"Death, for what amounts to a dime-cargo container of 'Veldspar Dust'? Ridiculous."

The Caldari Navy has long been fighting a drug regulation war against the various pirate factions that many see as a futile conflict.

"Taxpayer ISK, not to mention expensive Navy clones are being wasted on a fight we simply cannot win," said a press secretary on behalf of a member of the Council of Stellar Management. "Instead of fighting against the pirates, we should legalize the drugs and open up yet another source of tax revenue."

"It doesn't help that the introduction of planetary resources into the economy hasn't been quite the stimulus we hoped," added the press secretary.

More conservative members of the Council claim the legalization of drugs undermines the moral fabric of the Caldari State and will lead to more reckless government spending.

"What are we, Minmatar?" shouted the opposition leader during a rally.

As the fight unfolds on various levels, common pilots are left to question their own feelings on the subject.

"I certainly won't be picking up any drugs any time soon," said Sturm Wellington. "Not that I don't want to, though."

Downed Pilots Share "Broment" While Awaiting Pick Up

After a brief, yet intense firefight between local pirates and Genetisystem's elite Tactical Airwing in Nalvula last week, two downed pilots were forced to share a pod for their very survival.

"My Rifter went down quickly," said Sturm Wellington. "I then looked outside my pod and saw Stetin go down as well."

It was then, Wellington explained, the situation grew tense.

"The Drake pilot that killed us fired a final missile at Stetin's pod," explained Wellington. "The missile wasn't a direct hit, but it was close enough."

"I knew if I didn't do something, Stetin would die. At least until he cloned himself again," continued Wellington.

Sturm Wellington directed his slow moving pod on an intercept course with Stetin's fatally damaged pod. Just as the two pods collided, Wellington opened his capsule, grabbed the now incapacitated Stetin from his capsule, and pulled him inside to safety.

"I was shocked when I finally came to," said Stetin. "I wasn't expecting to be alive...among other surprises."

"I tend to not wear pants when flying," explained Wellington. "They chafe and I find that I fly better without them."

"I wasn't expecting company," he added.

The two pilots shared several awkward hours in incredibly tight confines until the pod was finally picked up by Ranger McFriendly, a Genetisystems salvager.

"Opening that pod was pretty much the weirdest minute of my life," said McFriendly. "I think I'd rather die and be cloned than get pretzled in like that."

 "Sturm really helped me out back there," said Stetin. "I just hope he never does that again."

Genetisystems has announced to investors that establishing a presence in low security space is a high priority for the corporation this fiscal year. They have cautioned investors that costs will rise during this risky period of expansion.

Small Squadron Deals Crushing, Easily Replaced Blow to Guristas

A small squadron comprised of members of the elite Genetisystems Tactical Airwing deployed to Ruvas Monday night to repel a large Gurista Pirates incursion from high security space. In the three hour firefight that ensued, several dozen Gurista flotilla's were utterly decimated, dealing a blow that will take the hostile pirate faction approximately 85 seconds to recoup.

"We collected quite a few bounties," noted squadron leader Cheif. "All for the greater good, of course," he quickly added.

Few doubt the true motives of the squadron, however.

"Without a doubt we were driven by ISK," explained Sturm Wellington, squadron member. "Killing pirates is great and all, but salvage and bounty is pretty tops."

"I may buy myself a new shuttle," he added.

Correspondents attached to the squadron observed the an utter lack of subtlety in the tactics employed.

"Cruise missile after cruise missile after cruise missile were just heaved at hulls left and right...or is it up and down in space?" questioned a freelancer with The Daily Poddite. "I thought the Raven pilot might change it up with, I don't know, a maneuver or Thermal Damage or...something. But he just sat there and heaved cruise missiles."

The Guristas released a video claiming responsibility for the attack. The spokesperson in the video continued on to vow that "vengeance will be ours!"

Reports of new Gurista assaults throughout Lonetrek have emerged, indicating this conflict may be long and costly for the citizens of New Eden.