"My ship's alarm started going off and a Caldari Border Patrol agent with a thick German accent began threatening me with death," explained Wellington. "Though it took me a while to figure out what he was saying."
"I thought he was saying 'daaaath,' which just doesn't mean anything."
Under Caldari law, possession of any illegal drugs of any amount is punishable by a reasonable fine and Governmental cold shoulder, or immediate death. To avoid immediate death, Wellington handed over his cargo, paid an immediate fine of 186,000 ISK, and suffered a nebulous relationship penalty with the local enforcement agency.
"I'm not a drug user, per se," said Wellington. "But I feel my rights were violated by this unwarranted scan of my cargo, not to mention the unreasonable punishment."
"Death, for what amounts to a dime-cargo container of 'Veldspar Dust'? Ridiculous."
The Caldari Navy has long been fighting a drug regulation war against the various pirate factions that many see as a futile conflict.
"Taxpayer ISK, not to mention expensive Navy clones are being wasted on a fight we simply cannot win," said a press secretary on behalf of a member of the Council of Stellar Management. "Instead of fighting against the pirates, we should legalize the drugs and open up yet another source of tax revenue."
"It doesn't help that the introduction of planetary resources into the economy hasn't been quite the stimulus we hoped," added the press secretary.
More conservative members of the Council claim the legalization of drugs undermines the moral fabric of the Caldari State and will lead to more reckless government spending.
"What are we, Minmatar?" shouted the opposition leader during a rally.
As the fight unfolds on various levels, common pilots are left to question their own feelings on the subject.
"I certainly won't be picking up any drugs any time soon," said Sturm Wellington. "Not that I don't want to, though."
The Man won't keep us down much longer. When we move into the wilds of deep space, we'll show Caldari State what we think of their "war on drugs." We will become the number one supplier of boosters, providing all capsuleers with the edge they need. At affordable prices!
ReplyDeleteYeah, they were wrong to scan you down like that.
ReplyDeleteWe need to move to "New Amsterdam". :)