Thursday, February 24, 2011

Man the guns, kid!

It has been really hard for a lot of the community to get excited about Incarna, because it seems to be largely just a cosmetic feature. I had a thought today.

What if you can move around player owned stations? What if when it is attacked you hear the alarms and loud speakers tell you to man the guns? What if you run to your station and see your character manning it?

Still cosmetic, but suddenly it is a lot closer to Star Wars than The Sims.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wellington Banished from Corp after Damning Trial

In a dramatic show trial that is surely to be remembered as the examination of one of New Eden's most reprehensible criminals, Sturm Wellington has been banished from Genetisystems.

"He's a disgusting, filthy, hairy little pod pilot," said Dirk Morbho, prosecuting attorney representing Genetisystems. "I haven't seen such in all my years flying for Genetisystems."

CEO Allya Modrane, the only smart one
"He makes the sound of a donkey being shoved in a waffle," he added.

The trial lasted 2 weeks and was initiated after Sturm Wellington made untoward advances upon noticing his CEO's recent plastic surgery.

"What can I say? Modrane had some "fries with that shake," explained Wellington.

Sturm Wellington, defendant/douchebag
"I'm just sad we couldn't act with respects towards each othersss," hissed Stetin, Allya Modrane's husband and space Smeagol impersonator. "Stupid, fats, Wellingtons!"

Stetin, angry freak
Many from Genetisystems' honored combat ranks stepped forward to defend Modrane's honor, but Wellington declined satisfaction, instead opting to flee into null security space like the coward he is.

"I just caught this historical holo-vid called "True Grit," in which the antagonist flees to indian territory," said Sturm Wellington. "I could see clear parallels to my own situation, so I fled."

"I'm hoping I don't die at the end," he added.

"Everyone can just calm down," cried Allya Modrane, CEO. "I could kill everyone here if need be. Wellington's an idiot and not worth my time."

"Plus," added Modrane, "Stetin is in desperate need of some color. Him getting angry drastically improved his complexion."

It remains to be seen whether the bounty on Wellington's head will be collected. To profit from the speculation, Dirk Morbho, Jax Hammer, and Ranger McFriendly have pitched in to create a "Days Until Sturm's Death" pool on the popular SOMER Blink lottery system.

"God I hope he dies Tuesday," said McFriendly. "I put a lot of ISK on Tuesday."

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Opinion: Incursion's character editor is great, but it doesn't let me tell my story

Before I get too far in my criticism, I want to make a few things clear. CCP's newly launched character creator is very good. The controls work in a way that the player feels as if they are molding putty with their hands. A huge range of characters can be created, some beautiful, others hideous. CCP's artists also did a very good job of presenting the players with very good looking assets. A lot of games run the gamut with only 1 or 2 good looking assets, followed with a lot of crap that nobody wants to use. A few quibbles aside, namely the portrait selection mix-up, they did a good job. Many games provide players with a character creator. I can only name a few that I enjoy using, and I now list EVE's as one of them.

Alas, the new character creator doesn't let me tell my story. I believe EVE Online's greatest asset is that it gives players the tools with which to tell incredible stories that rival those created by celebrated fiction writers. Unlike those stories, the space operas that unfold in EVE are real, at least as real as our digital universe allows. We almost don't have a choice in the matter -- we have to tell our own stories. EVE's "carebear" content pales in comparison to its industry peers; if I seek out "player vs. environment," I'm going to play World of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings Online, or just go straight for a purely offline-single player experience like Mass Effect or Fallout 3.

Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems
But, if I desire dynamic wars, unrivaled treachery, brilliant economic strategies, and awe-inspiring dogfights, I play EVE Online and I plot a course for low security and null security space as quickly as my drives warm up.

Stetin, voted "most like Smeagol" in pod yearbook
What do I mean by story? EVE's open character progression system lets you be anybody. However, unless you take drastic steps with the character itself, all of the assets provided to us solely serve the purpose of making our characters look like hip, stylish citizens of New Eden. Unfortunately, being stylish isn't something that earns you ISK. Perhaps it will with Incarna? This is all well and good if I'm attending a galactic banquet, but I want CCP to take a bigger step forward with future assets, mico-transaction driven or otherwise, to let us tell our stories and further define who our characters are.

How would I dress my corp mates?

Kass Modrane, Planetary industrialist
Ranger McFriendly is a devious trader. He plays the market like a devilish day trader. He would fit best in a sharp suit complete with electronic equipment that lets him stay connected to the market always. Ear piece, wrist computer, that sort of stuff.

Cheif Astartes is a former outlaw. He's done bad things, but he's a good soul at heart. To me, he's Mal from Firefly. He should look a little rugged and worn, perhaps in his old uniform from his previous employers.

Stetin and Dirk Morbho are both Han Solo's. They are good industrialists with a flare for combat and action when need be. Their clothes would be functional, comfortable, but non-military.

Allya Modrane reminds me of Sarah Kerrigan (pre-Zerg infestation); quiet, precise, and deadly. She could also be paired with the skills of the re-envisioned Battlestar Galactica's Starbuck. She would be dressed in a military outfit, perhaps a flight suit.

Ty Langstrom would wear greasy overalls, perfect for the industrialist that he is. He reminds me a bit of Starcraft's SCV pilots. He'll get what you need done and quickly.

Buster Krevas
XivOps is a mercenary; precise, always looking for his next kill. But, he's honorable. I see him in a very simple flight suit, without insignia. Decorations and medals just get in his way.

Jax Hammer is the intrepid explorer from the wormhole. He's just a hint goofy, but incredibly smart. I see him wearing something that's a mix between science officer and mechanic.

As for me, Sturm Wellington? I've always dreamed of being Maverick or Wedge Antilles. I see my character's role as a fighter pilot in the private navy of Genetisystems. I'd love to have a dress uniform. If I were to use the US Navy's ranking, I'd put myself at about the rank of Lieutenant Senior Grade, or perhaps even a Lt. Commander. I feel like my fellow pilot Train Tracks would also dress in a similar fashion.

Sturm Wellington, popped collar jerk
I have high hopes for the future of EVE Online and to be frank, I cannot wait for the Sansha's to invade Black Rise. My capsuleer's fingers are crossed. CCP deserves credit for a very good initial effort. But in order for the next chapter to succeed, they need to let me tell my story.

Screenshots of some of our new characters are scattered throughout.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Russia Pulls Troops Out of Georgia, Chechnya, to Bolster Black Rise Fleet Strength

After last night's devastating loss to the pathetic, carebear pilots of Genetisystems' Elite Tactical Airwing, Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev of the Russian Federation has announced he will withdrawal troops from both Georgia and Chechnya to reinforce his beleaguered digital space navy forces in the Black Rise Region.

"I thought the days of the Cold War were long past us," said Medvedev. "Days of uncertainty, deceit, and terror are being brought back by this rogue element of the western regime."

"I am saddened by this turn of events," said Vladimir Putin, Prime Minister of the Russian Federation. "I sought a different future that apparently eludes us all."

Russia has re-allocated two armored divisions and three squadrons of air superiority forces to reinforce their Russian privateers working in Black Rise. The troops are expected to arrive before year's end.

In a solemn press conference, one pilot of the routinely harried pirate organization took the podium with a simple, but eye-opening statement.

When asked to comment on her corporations anti-piracy policy, Allya Modrane was reluctant to comment. Fortunately for The Daily Poddite, Genetisystems' Director Stetin was happy to oblige.

"Oh we killed them good," said Stetin. "I don't even turn the guns on anymore. It's just getting easy and we need a challenge."

"Hell, my Orca is on the kill mail," he added.

Concord agents were pleased with the destruction of the pirate fleet and gladly awarded bounties to the Genetisystems pilots.

"We're just glad they are doing the job we cannot," said Helmut Wunderschpoon, Concord Press Secretary. "Kehjari, Martoh, Kinakka -- long have these star systems been out of control and rampant with piracy."

"It seems a new age has dawned?"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Genetisystems Recruiting Dedicated Meat Shields to Repel Sansha Nation

With the onset of the Sansha Nation's publicly announced invasions of known space in New Eden, Genetisystems leadership has decided to prepare for open hostilities and begin recruiting dedicated meat shields.

"A lot of us are flying really good ships now," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "It'd be a shame to lose them to pirates when we could hire others to do this for us."

"Our benefits plan is comprehensive," explained Sturm Wellington, Director. "We offer no ship replacement, no encouragement, and no share of the loot."

"What you do receive is the right to fly with us and shield good pilots like Train Tracks, Stetin, and XivOps from certain and ugly doom."

"Some would call it a stepping stone into the hallowed ranks of Genetisystems," said Cheif Astartes, renowned combat pilot and former pirate. "Not me, but some."

Pilots interested in a Meat Shield position should be able to supply and fly a battlecruiser with an excellent tank, preferably two for when their primary ship is destroyed. Interested parties should inquire with Ranger McFriendly, who, by his very name sake, is nice.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Genetisystems Celebrates First Month in Space by Destroying 1 Billion ISK in Pirate Tonnage

After a month of conducting commercial and combat operations in low security space, Genetisystems has destroyed well over 1 Billion ISK in pirate tonnage.

The push over the billion mark was sped up with the arrival of a Tengu and Vagabond pilot in the home system last night. After what resulted in a stunning, all hands on deck fleet battle, the Tengu and Vagabond lay destroyed and salvaged with only one Genetisystems' Hurricane loss.

"I had a long call with our corporate accountant last night," said Stetin. "I was having trouble conversing with him clearly as he was flying a Mastodon. You know Minmatar tech. But it was clear to both of us that we had cleared the billion mark."

"Carnage!" added XivOps, a Genetisystems Director.

The first anti-Pirate victory was against a Megathron, which fell to an ambush totaling 7 Genetisystems pilots and 1 ally. A short while later the company was able to destroy a Pilgrim force recon ship and a Drake.

"Only a month ago we were crapping our pants about a lone Ishtar mercenary and freaking out about friendly fire," said Sturm Wellington, a former Director who was disgraced after an intergalactic incident with Yellow Star Corps. "I literally pooped a little when that Ishtar charged us."

"I'm not proud," he added.

"We've proven quite a few times now that arrogant pirates will die when they enter our turf," said PsyKrow, the fleet commander for the majority of the anti-pirate battles. "At this point, I'm more concerned with wife aggro than pirates."

Action against the local pirates in system, long a menace to inhabitants, has brought out courage in even the most unlikely of pilots. Train Tracks, mop boy, has been in every pirate battle and has survived all of them to emerge as one of the true heroes of the Genetisystems fleet.

"They kept saying to me, 'go away mop boy,' or 'my ship's dirty mop boy!" he explained. "Well, I don't expect to hear none of this 'mop boy' crap come Monday."

From the top down, Genetisystems is energized and excited.

"I think it's all due to my iron fisted rule," said Allya Modrane, CEO and Dictator of Genetisystems. "I've slapped a few pilots around and made a few calls that nobody wanted me to make."

"But I got it done, didn't I? I mean we?" she added.

Genetisystems has recently added four pilots to help aid in the fight against piracy and profit from low security space. With the value of Genetisystems stock at an all time high, it is the best move possible for all.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Genetisystems Plans First War Game

On , crack members of Genetisystem's Tactical Airwing will be dividing into Aggressor and Defender Squadrons to engage in the first Genetisystems' War Game. 

The first war game, located in , will allow both teams to learn more about the always terrifying and complicated Gate Camp Scenario. 

"It is my sincere hope that Aggressor Squadron will prevail," said Sturm Wellington, the Aggressor Fleet Commander. "I plan to get crafty, wily, and devious."

"Like a space coyote," he added.

It will be the task of Wellington and his Aggressor Squadron to jump blindly through the gate and engage the waiting Defender Squadron, though exact details of Aggressor Squadron's objectives remain classified.

"Aggressor is filled with tossers," said Cheif Astartes, Defender Squadron Fleet Commander. "Plus, we've got a pilot very close to one of their own."

"I always say, if you aren't cheating you aren't trying. And it's only cheating if you get caught," added Astartes. 

It is rumored that Allya Modrane and Stetin, members of the opposing squadrons, know each other outside of the pod realm. If this is truly the case, both commanders will need to keep close tabs on their security.

"These war games are a tiny part of Genetisystems' broad vision for our part in low security space and beyond," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "By learning to better conduct ourselves in war, we will better serve the needs of our commercial interests and maintain the security of space between our home and the safety of empire."

Future war games are already in the works, including ones that test cloaked ambushes, protecting miners, ferrying goods, and grand multi-system battles. Genetisystems allies are encouraged to participate and can do so by contacting the War Games Marshall Sturm Wellington.