Wormhole Raid Leaves Lone Survivor to Enjoy Loot

After a successful raid into ancient sleeper territory in a wormhole out of Arvasaras, disaster struck a small squadron of Genetisystem's elite Exploration Airwing.

"It was a bloodbath," said Sturm Wellington, scout and lone survivor. "If it weren't for all this money I no longer need to share with anyone else, I would have no way to wipe away these tears."

The operation, which began as a calculated foray into sleeper territory for ancient technology, met disaster early.

"Aliso Keppo's Manticore was shredded within seconds of insertion," explained Wellington. "Frankly, I'm surprised the rest of the fleet survived the fumes put out by Stetin's hulk."

After a tense, sustained firefight, the remnants of the squadron prepared to exit wormhole space to return to high security, when the exit Wormhole collapsed.

"Stetin seems to have this perverse...urge...to collapse every wormhole he sees," said Allya Modrane, CEO of Genetisystems. "He's like an Arvasaran bull in a Jitan China closet."

"What's China?" asked Stetin.

Unscathed due to the skilled application of a cloaking device, Sturm Wellington discovered another exit wormhole and led the squadron deep into low security Amarr space. Isolated through six jumps, the squadron seemed destined for safety in high security space.

"Two jumps from high sec, we hit a gate camp," said Ranger McFriendly. "Allya was grabbed pretty quickly while Stetin and I tried to fight."

"Sturm scattered like a cockroach."

"Sure I ran," said Sturm Wellington. "But if I hadn't, and by that I mean we, wouldn't have earned all this ISK."

Allya Modrane's Drake was quickly destroyed by the pirates at the gate. Stetin's Maelstrom and Ranger McFriendly's Drake were destroyed in the following system. 

"It could have been worse," said Sturm Wellington. "I could have been destroyed too."

All photos taken by Stetin.

Pilot Gets Shot Down, Blames Girlfriend

An aloof pod pilot was shot down Tuesday night while dealing with his girlfriend.

Sturm Wellington and other elements of Genetisystems' elite Tactical Airwing were patrolling low sector space in Black Rise when fleet discipline fell apart, resulting in casualties.

"I ordered the fleet to hold on the gate," said Malek Treiss, fleet commander. "Everyone called in affirmative, except Sturm Wellington."

"He just disappeared," said Treiss.

The members of the fleet tried to communicate with Wellington via all possible methods, including shouting into the comm system, sending mail messages, and even ramming his Griffin.

Then, the inexplicable happened.

"Sturm came back onto the comms and shouted 'Sorry, back guys!'" explained Stetin. "Then he just jumped through the gate."

"It was one of the dumbest things I've seen in space," said Stetin.

"I immediately ordered Sturm back," said Treiss. "Unfortunately, there were pirates waiting for him on the other side and his Tech 1 Frigate exploded like a soft candy."

After the short, but hectic chase by the pirates, Wellington and the fleet were able to gather in station and debrief on the incident.

"My girlfriend called me while we were on patrol," explained Wellington. "I tried to get her off to phone by repeatedly shouting "I'm in a combat zone!"

"She just wouldn't listen though," he said. "They never do."

When Sturm Wellington was able to finally return to his Griffin's HUD, he found himself alone at the gate and assumed the fleet had jumped to the next system designated for the patrol. Unfortunately, the fleet was still in system, though now under cloak.

"I really wanted to try out my new cloaking device," explained Ty Langstrom, fleet member.

"We'll need to work with Sturm on his fleet discipline," said Malek Treiss. "Girlfriend or no, that sort of reckless flying will get us all podded."

Wellington's girlfriend was not available for comment.

Border Drug Bust Reinvigorates Drug Debate

When Sturm Wellington warped towards the Haajinen jump gate Sunday night, he didn't intend to do so as a drug smuggler.

"My ship's alarm started going off and a Caldari Border Patrol agent with a thick German accent began threatening me with death," explained Wellington. "Though it took me a while to figure out what he was saying."

"I thought he was saying 'daaaath,' which just doesn't mean anything."

Under Caldari law, possession of any illegal drugs of any amount is punishable by a reasonable fine and Governmental cold shoulder, or immediate death. To avoid immediate death, Wellington handed over his cargo, paid an immediate fine of 186,000 ISK, and suffered a nebulous relationship penalty with the local enforcement agency.

"I'm not a drug user, per se," said Wellington. "But I feel my rights were violated by this unwarranted scan of my cargo, not to mention the unreasonable punishment."

"Death, for what amounts to a dime-cargo container of 'Veldspar Dust'? Ridiculous."

The Caldari Navy has long been fighting a drug regulation war against the various pirate factions that many see as a futile conflict.

"Taxpayer ISK, not to mention expensive Navy clones are being wasted on a fight we simply cannot win," said a press secretary on behalf of a member of the Council of Stellar Management. "Instead of fighting against the pirates, we should legalize the drugs and open up yet another source of tax revenue."

"It doesn't help that the introduction of planetary resources into the economy hasn't been quite the stimulus we hoped," added the press secretary.

More conservative members of the Council claim the legalization of drugs undermines the moral fabric of the Caldari State and will lead to more reckless government spending.

"What are we, Minmatar?" shouted the opposition leader during a rally.

As the fight unfolds on various levels, common pilots are left to question their own feelings on the subject.

"I certainly won't be picking up any drugs any time soon," said Sturm Wellington. "Not that I don't want to, though."

Downed Pilots Share "Broment" While Awaiting Pick Up

After a brief, yet intense firefight between local pirates and Genetisystem's elite Tactical Airwing in Nalvula last week, two downed pilots were forced to share a pod for their very survival.

"My Rifter went down quickly," said Sturm Wellington. "I then looked outside my pod and saw Stetin go down as well."

It was then, Wellington explained, the situation grew tense.

"The Drake pilot that killed us fired a final missile at Stetin's pod," explained Wellington. "The missile wasn't a direct hit, but it was close enough."

"I knew if I didn't do something, Stetin would die. At least until he cloned himself again," continued Wellington.

Sturm Wellington directed his slow moving pod on an intercept course with Stetin's fatally damaged pod. Just as the two pods collided, Wellington opened his capsule, grabbed the now incapacitated Stetin from his capsule, and pulled him inside to safety.

"I was shocked when I finally came to," said Stetin. "I wasn't expecting to be alive...among other surprises."

"I tend to not wear pants when flying," explained Wellington. "They chafe and I find that I fly better without them."

"I wasn't expecting company," he added.

The two pilots shared several awkward hours in incredibly tight confines until the pod was finally picked up by Ranger McFriendly, a Genetisystems salvager.

"Opening that pod was pretty much the weirdest minute of my life," said McFriendly. "I think I'd rather die and be cloned than get pretzled in like that."

 "Sturm really helped me out back there," said Stetin. "I just hope he never does that again."

Genetisystems has announced to investors that establishing a presence in low security space is a high priority for the corporation this fiscal year. They have cautioned investors that costs will rise during this risky period of expansion.

Small Squadron Deals Crushing, Easily Replaced Blow to Guristas

A small squadron comprised of members of the elite Genetisystems Tactical Airwing deployed to Ruvas Monday night to repel a large Gurista Pirates incursion from high security space. In the three hour firefight that ensued, several dozen Gurista flotilla's were utterly decimated, dealing a blow that will take the hostile pirate faction approximately 85 seconds to recoup.

"We collected quite a few bounties," noted squadron leader Cheif. "All for the greater good, of course," he quickly added.

Few doubt the true motives of the squadron, however.

"Without a doubt we were driven by ISK," explained Sturm Wellington, squadron member. "Killing pirates is great and all, but salvage and bounty is pretty tops."

"I may buy myself a new shuttle," he added.

Correspondents attached to the squadron observed the an utter lack of subtlety in the tactics employed.

"Cruise missile after cruise missile after cruise missile were just heaved at hulls left and right...or is it up and down in space?" questioned a freelancer with The Daily Poddite. "I thought the Raven pilot might change it up with, I don't know, a maneuver or Thermal Damage or...something. But he just sat there and heaved cruise missiles."

The Guristas released a video claiming responsibility for the attack. The spokesperson in the video continued on to vow that "vengeance will be ours!"

Reports of new Gurista assaults throughout Lonetrek have emerged, indicating this conflict may be long and costly for the citizens of New Eden.