Wellington Banished from Corp after Damning Trial

In a dramatic show trial that is surely to be remembered as the examination of one of New Eden's most reprehensible criminals, Sturm Wellington has been banished from Genetisystems.

"He's a disgusting, filthy, hairy little pod pilot," said Dirk Morbho, prosecuting attorney representing Genetisystems. "I haven't seen such in all my years flying for Genetisystems."

CEO Allya Modrane, the only smart one

"He makes the sound of a donkey being shoved in a waffle," he added.

The trial lasted 2 weeks and was initiated after Sturm Wellington made untoward advances upon noticing his CEO's recent plastic surgery.

"What can I say? Modrane had some "fries with that shake," explained Wellington.

Sturm Wellington, defendant/douchebag

"I'm just sad we couldn't act with respects towards each othersss," hissed Stetin, Allya Modrane's husband and space Smeagol impersonator. "Stupid, fats, Wellingtons!"

Stetin, angry freak

Many from Genetisystems' honored combat ranks stepped forward to defend Modrane's honor, but Wellington declined satisfaction, instead opting to flee into null security space like the coward he is.

"I just caught this historical holo-vid called "True Grit," in which the antagonist flees to indian territory," said Sturm Wellington. "I could see clear parallels to my own situation, so I fled."

"I'm hoping I don't die at the end," he added.

"Everyone can just calm down," cried Allya Modrane, CEO. "I could kill everyone here if need be. Wellington's an idiot and not worth my time."

"Plus," added Modrane, "Stetin is in desperate need of some color. Him getting angry drastically improved his complexion."

It remains to be seen whether the bounty on Wellington's head will be collected. To profit from the speculation, Dirk Morbho, Jax Hammer, and Ranger McFriendly have pitched in to create a "Days Until Sturm's Death" pool on the popular SOMER Blink lottery system.

"God I hope he dies Tuesday," said McFriendly. "I put a lot of ISK on Tuesday."