Yellow Star Corporation Rebuttal to Genetisystems Legal Jargon

To the leadership of the esteemed Genetisystem corporation,

As CEO, leader, and High King of Yellow Star "Corporation" I must vehemently object to the allegations regarding our trusted member Ishannar made in the "newspaper" written by your member Sturm Wellington. After careful investigation we have determined the corpse is not dressed like a mariachi singer, but in an outfit one of our members obtained from the private quarters of a local pilot named Stetin, whom Ishannar admires very much. The corpse is therefor made to resemble him closely and is allowed to attend special tea parties and philosophical lectures organised for it. Ishannar has requested I make the following statement in his name:

Mr. Wellington seems a person of a modest, decent and unassuming disposition, but I must point your attention to his drooping eyelids and sagging chin, which indicate an untrustworthy karakter. I urge you to ignore his well-meant but misinformed ramblings and agree that we must be friendly to the less fortunate in this world. It is only the noble thing to do. Therefor I suggest he be provided with work suitable to his abilities, perhaps flying a garbage skow or light duties as a janitor.

I assume you will take this complaint seriously and will surely take swift action against this brigand.

Thanks in advance,
Klyo Tarren.
King of all that is and will be,
CEO of Yellow Star Corp

Genetisystems Ally Keeps Corpse, Sanity in Station

Days after the outlaw Bacujlek was destroyed for piracy in the Genetisystems home system, his corpse remains in a small, privately owned cargo hold.

"This one sure is ripe," said Ishannar, self-avowed corpse collector. "Sometimes you need something this ripe to remind the senses of what's what out here in the vacuum of space."

"You get me?" he asked.

Bacujlek's naked body

Ishannar is a member of a corporation that has recently signed a legally binding non-compete clause with Genetisystems. Despite the legal penalties of discarding such a deal, Genetisystems is considering prematurely revoking the clause due to Ishannar's strange corpse fetish.

"I don't do business with yay-hoos who keep dead bodies lying around for one thing," said Sturm Wellington, Director and Spokesperson for Genetisystems.

"He's in there dressing that thing up like a mariachi singer I shit you not!" explained Wellington. "We wanted to do business but this dude's losing it."

"Yes, I'm eccentrik!" said Ishannar excitedly. "Please spell 'eccentrik' with a k for your story," he added. "I no longer feel the need to restrict myself to the letter c."

Legal representatives from both corporations have been working to calm the situation and keep things "business as usual." It remains to be seen whether the corpse, or this fledgling business partnership, will rot first.

Lazy Pirate Slaughtered by Genetisystems Security Forces

The ongoing three-week old border conflict between the annoying to type H.O.U.S.E. corporation and stalwart Genetisystems corporation flared up again last night when a small squadron of Genetisystems pilots hunted and destroyed a prominent member of H.O.U.S.E.

"I think he floated out of station by accident," explained Train Tracks, member of the successful squadron. "Then we beat the shit out of him."

The pirate's Pilgrim was valued at well over 100 Million ISK.

"I'm not sure he was even in the right window when he undocked" said Allya Modrane, CEO. Modrane is referring to the pod pilot interface that allows for others to view important sites like PodCloneBook and "games" like AsteroidVille.

As the night continued H.O.U.S.E. lost an additional Drake Battlecruiser to the noble Genetisystems forces.

The total losses of the *sigh* H.O.U.S.E. corporation have totaled almost 400 Million ISK to date, with an unknown number of losses associated with potential pilot implants. Though Genetisystems is not without casualties, the balance is clearly in the scrappy corporations favor.

Convoy Escort Distracted by "Classic" Car, loses Convoy

A Genetisystems convoy was ambushed and destroyed Wednesday night when a Genetisystems scout pilot was distracted by what he referred to as a "classic ride."

While waiting at the Onnamon gate in Empire space, a Drake and Badger pilot were instructed by the scout to enter low security Kinakka as the way was "clear." Unfortunately, the scout was too distracted to realize he wasn't in Kinakka.

The destroyed Badger Mark II

"I was finishing my patrol when this sweet ride flew across my bow," said Stetin, scout pilot and jalopy enthusiast. "I swear that thing was like, uh, a space El Camino or somethin'."

"It may not have been your high falutin' "tech 2" nonsense but she was sure tech 2 in my book," said Stetin.

"Boy howdy I'll tell ya what!"

Seconds after entering Kinakka while Stetin was ogling the "space El Camino," both the Drake and Badger were immediately destroyed by well-armed and entrenched pirates that would have normally been spotted by a scout.

The scout's rough approximation of the "space El Camino"

"Yeah, my bad," said Stetin when asked about the botched scouting. "Badgers are a dime a dozen. Same with Drakes. But that El Camino...man, now that was a car!"

Stetin's security contract is currently under review by the Genetisystems Board of Directors.

Genetisystems Builds Space Station in Simulators

Director Stetin of the Genetisystems Engineering and Industrial Sector successfully completed the simulator run of establishing a space station tonight.

"Everything went smoothly, much more so than expected," noted Stetin.

With the simulation behind the corporation, final plans are being set to create an expeditionary fleet and establish a space station presence in New Eden.

"The next step won't be a simulation," said Stetin. "Pilots will die. Pilots like Sturm. But, our shareholders are willing to accept such "trivial" losses at this time."

All photos taken by Stetin.